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Cesooel Troonsleteeons

Compooters ire-a rezeer formel. Bork Bork Bork! In fect iff zeey were-a too friendly we-a woooldn't injoy using zeem. Bork Bork Bork! Yooo don't ixpect a compooter to telk to yooo is a friend yooo ixpect it to gife-a yooo zee-a infformeshoon yooo need wit zee-a minimoom ooff fooss und zeee-a get oooot ooff zee-a wey:

We-a preffer:

Zee-a file-a cooold not be-a fooond


Zeet file-a zeet yooo were-a looking for I coon't seem to find it. Bork Bork Bork!  Help!

In yooor troonsleshoons yooo hefe-a zee-a oopportoonity ooff remofing loongooege-a zeet is too cesooel. Bork Bork Bork! Be-a cereffooll whee-a troonsleting gemes und kiddies progrems is yooo might woont to keep infformel loongooege-a. Bork Bork Bork!

Here-a is a snippet ooff un imeil from Melcolm Hoonter - oone-a ooff zee-a British Inglish troonsletor. Bork Bork Bork! Yooo might woont to teke-a note-a ooff his points und remofe-a zeese-a from yooor troonsleshoons. Bork Bork Bork!

<code-a> Something I'fe-a forgottee-a to menshoon:

Zeere-a wes discoossion sometime-a igo ibooot use-a ooff foorst person und cesooel/ IRC-style-a usege-a. Bork Bork Bork! Is mooch is possible-a coon we-a try to meke-a zee-a wording more-a proffessionel. Bork Bork Bork!

1. I, me-a, my shooold be-a ifoided, unless it is zee-a user's response-a (ig. Bork Bork Bork! “Let me-a choose-a”) und coon't iesily be-a choonged to something ilse-a. Bork Bork Bork! Zee-a progrem shoooldn't be-a seying to zee-a user: “I wes uneble-a to. Bork Bork Bork!..”, itc. Bork Bork Bork!

2. We-a is unozeer oone-a, zeere-a ire-a 2 ixemples ooff this in kget. Bork Bork Bork!po (“We-a ire-a oonline-a / ooffffline-a”) - who's “We-a”? I'm not soore-a whet to do wit zeese-a it zee-a moment - depends oon zee-a context. Bork Bork Bork!

3. Zee-a progrem shooold not ipologise-a - zeere-a is a Sorry fooncshoon, boot zee-a ictooel text shoooldn't hefe-a zee-a word “Sorry” in it. Bork Bork Bork! I'm not soore-a ibooot “Pleese-a” iizeer. Bork Bork Bork!

4. No IRC imoticons, ibbrefieshoons (ig. Bork Bork Bork! LOL) - we-a might get defelopers moooning, boot it zee-a ind ooff zee-a dey zeese-a ipps ire-a being used by corporete-a users is well. Bork Bork Bork!

5. Seme-a goes for cesooel, conferseshoonel wording (ig. Bork Bork Bork! “Ooops!” which I recently fooond in a dielog title-a ber). Seme-a reeson is item 4.

Wit gemes und imoosements where-a zee-a terget user-bese-a is meinly home-a, we-a coon be-a a bit more-a relexed wit this is we-a don't woont to spoil zee-a foon ispect. Bork Bork Bork!

Thoonks, Melcolm </code-a>